There was never a question in my mind of you not staying the course.I know things were not always easy or perfect or certain. I know your relationship has walked through pain and heartache, rejection and fear. Yet, here you are standing stronger today than ever before.While I was growing up I got to watch you both grow up together. And being the observant, introspective child that I was (mostly I was nosy) I actually got to see into the heart of your marriage.

I’ve had a troubling sort of day. I watch the news come on my facebook feed and it’s disturbing. I read stories of loss and tragedy and terror and my heart breaks in pieces. Murder, violence, terror, troubles, tears, sorrow, brokenness.SO much brokenness.Another shooting has occurred. Another act of hate. Another terrorist attack.Then a child is lost. Disaster. Dreams Shattered.Blood Shed for nothing.People pointing fingers, blame spat out like a lashing of bullets missing a target, yet wounding so many.Fear rises.

I was exhausted. My whole body ached.“Am I getting sick? I don’t have time to be sick!Is it just pure exhaustion? After a relaxing weekend, why am I still tired?If I go to sleep now I’ll get 5 hours. I can’t function well on 5 hours, but its better than 4.Why am I still awake? My head hurts.Maybe I should be praying for someone. God am I awake because I need to be interceding? …nope, just awake apparently. I got nothing God. Since I’m up, maybe you can just put someone on my heart. Super sincere, I know.”I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. My husband was lying next to me lightly snoring.

A few weeks ago I co-hosted the IF: Gathering at our local IF: Richmond/Katy. This is our second year to host an IF: Local and God has overwhelmed us both times...but for me, this time, was different.As we have prepared and planned, I can honestly say that I wasn't super excited. I had moments of excitement, but I knew the work that lay ahead and I knew it was going to be hard and take much effort and time. I was working outside of my strengths and though I had a God inspired team, I was uncertain of how to lead well and keep it all together. The weeks before IF, I was weary. I had shared, prayed, sent and answered so many texts and emails and questions that weariness was flooding over me.Obedience was at stake. God had placed us and purposed us and called us to this and I had to walk in His ways. When God calls you to something you really don't have a choice. You either obey or you don't. I believe in God and I believe and trust Him so not obeying isn't an option, no matter how difficult following God is. I knew well enough that God would bring me through the tired.