Don’t let your feelings replace your faith—let them fuel it. God’s love stays even when your emotions rise and fall. This is one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in my life, and yet one of the most freeing.

As a sensitive young girl, I thought my feelings were a problem. Crying meant weakness. Feeling too much meant being too much. I worried that being tender made me less bold, less strong, less enough. I thought if I let my emotions run, they might take over and steer me away from God. And for a long time, I tried to silence them, push them away, or hide them. I tried to be stronger than my own heart, and I failed.

I wake up each morning to a simple rhythm.
Wash my face. Brush my teeth. Cold water to fully wake up.
Tallow on my skin, almond oil because it smells like comfort.
I get dressed—comfort usually wins—and I make coffee, because that part is non-negotiable.

Then I sit on my couch and open my Bible.

Not because I should.
Not to check a box.
But because I fell in love.

As we begin a new school year, I find myself repeating this particular phrase again and again. I am exhaling it out in hopes that I will find joy and purpose within its words.

“Can you believe we get to do this?

I am trying to make a habit of repeating this phrase when I feel stuck or uncertain, frustrated and ungrateful.

The way we normally do things is not an option these days. Our normal is gone. Our normal celebration of Easter will not be normal at all. Churches across the country and parts of the world will be closed. Traditional Easter hunts are cancelled. Most of us will be forgoing Easter outfits and pictures for pajamas and couch selfies.

I’m recognizing that God needs very little to do the things he desires. He doesn’t need the church steeple or the people. His way to the Resurrection was FOR us. We had little to do with it, other than the fact that we were sinners in need of a savior. Jesus had compassion on us and then carried his cross for us so that we could have communion with him and be saved from our sins. The plan of salvation was always in I am.

I am the Way.

I am the Truth.

I am the Life.

My little girls play with my makeup and shoes, make believing that they are older, fun loving and free.

If I blink, they will be daughters who I hold in my heart, rather than ones who still let me hold their hand. At 11 years old, mama’s shoes are just a bit too big, but very soon, oh so very soon, those heels will be clicking out the door towards new adventure and life.

With every glimpse I see the picture of the coming years. They age. They mature. It’s so beautiful, yet heart wrenching.

How do we really live full and heart filled lives?

The relationship between mothers and daughters is one of God’s growing plans. From the moment the pink bundle is placed in your arms, your heart grows with dreams.

All you want is to be a ceiling that her one day heeled feet will stand on. All you want is your own mama to help you stand.